TRANSFORMING THE ILLUSORY REFUGE


Notice how often the thought and desire of wanting the present moment to be different than the way it is arises. This is the apparent movement away from Presence. The refuge of dissociation and thought is believed to be the imagined separate self. The notions of would, could, should, arise, and create a false sense of location as past, future, or the external, by means of avoidance. The habitual pattern of resistance to what arises, or the ever present now, which began as a coping mechanism or survival strategy, has become an addiction, is the primary addiction from which all behaviors arise, and the pattern itself forms an identity. This is who one believes they are. The addiction is to the notion of the false-self. A sense of lack initiates the refuge of separation, and the belief of lack maintains the identity of the imagined self. The pattern of the abandonment of the moment perpetuates the identification with the illusory separation. From this illusory point of view, the duality of longing appears as the belief that what one seeks is somewhere, outside, and other. It is here the search arises. That which one seeks, one already is. One seeks Self, which one is, and is this present moment itself.

The fear that determined the refuge of the imagined self, becomes the fear of letting it dissolve, the fear of freedom. The fear of what does not exist, disappearing. The fear is that which maintains the sense of control, and the belief in personal control determines fear. Clinging and attachment arise from the fear of losing control. Can one lose what one does not have? Who is it that disappears, as that which appears to come and go within that which does not come and go? In a relative sense, it is darkness, or illusion, that appears to determine fear, as the rope is mistaken for a snake. In an Absolute sense, it is the light as Awareness that allows one to penetrate illusion and fear, and to see the rope for what it is.

Notice the sensation that is prior to the apparent movement away from Presence. The habit of attachment to sensation is immediate as a means to identify and validate the story. If there were no story, action and reaction would be seen as transparent in the light of Awareness. The arising sensation is the i, and the story is self. When all external objects are removed, where is the fear? By simply being still, the pattern comes to rest. With no story, where is the i? The refuge determined by resistance to what arises, what is, or the belief of lack, is transformed into the Source of love and compassion. The sense of lack that determines movement is met and fulfilled as stillness. There is no escape. Do nothing. Be stillness. The habit of patterns, and the pattern of habits are seen as Awareness, as one is Awareness. All suffering is realized as the pathless-path home to and as unconditional freedom, non-located, unbound spaciousness, Self, and one is That.