Receiving silence is frustrating and trying not to fill in the blanks with fear is challenging.
The frustration arises from the trying itself. This trying is mind perpetuating itself. The apparent 'blanks' are the absence of mind, and the conditioned mind is unfamiliar with, threatened by, and challenged by spaciousness. Mind is finite, silence is infinite. The mind that is challenged with receiving silence is that which is filling silence. In trying, one is locating the sense of a separate self as the blank space. The sensation that then arises is interpreted as fear. The fear is simply of what is, and as fear is objectified, it becomes the means to identify with sensation as a story, or the forming of one. The fear is also of the dissolution of self. Ultimately, the desire for the freedom of silence moves one into, and past the fear, which bears the instinctual and conditioned survival of the self. The 'blanks' are Awareness of the absence of self.
The pattern is determined by avoidance and is maintained by resistance, and the belief in the notion of self as the doer and source of silence. Silence, or spaciousness also brings clarity to the pattern. The mind engaged with the pattern interprets, and holds the belief that silence has become separate, somewhere, or outside one. This separation is imagined. To be determined by this belief and the notion of fear maintains the pattern.
Silence is ever present in all this activity. Activity and sensation are partnered in the avoidance of silence and stillness. This brings the longing and seeking for silence and stillness. The pattern of seeking and fear is that which comes and goes in that which does not come and go. Silence itself is never challenged. Silence does not need to be 'received' as it is ever present. Silence has no doer. Silence is that which appears prior to all thought and sound, as the spaciousness from which all sound or thought, all objects, arise. The ground of silence invites a deeper listening. Silence is the space from which the notion of self arises. Self is that which appears to fill silence. Silence and sound, silence and self, are one. If one is silence, who or what is it that is challenged?
One can begin to notice silence, as the apparent background of being-ness. Then one can be with silence, then within silence, then as silence. Moving closer and closer. It is here avoidance and the apparent distance collapses. In so doing, resistance softens and dissolves, as ones' True-Nature. Investigate the fear. Turn towards and invite the imagined fear as loving Presence. This is intimacy. This is to be still, to be compassionate as compassion itself, to be peaceful as peace itself. Silence is ever present, as the invitation to, and the recognition as, Presence. When one enters the apparent 'blanks', one becomes the silence. As such, one 'moves' from the apparent distance of fear, to the closeness of intimacy, to the silence of One.