BROKEN OPEN


It is interesting to note how very few speak of being completely torn apart and the experience of being completely broken open. Every day on FB there are thousands of posts and sharings of an apparent spiritual nature, insights, quotes, happy messages of sage quotes with a pretty picture, often fragments of a very isolated search of self masked as understanding, when in fact they speak to a heart that is suffering, a quiet desperation which appears to be hidden behind a screen and anonymity, and seeking to be free of its contracted, limited, and personal self.

There is also the endless analysis and mechanics of the architecture of spirituality and enlightenment. The endless figuring out and dissecting of Presence, as if this were even possible. Endless positions which speak to taking no position, with great personal authority, which having surrendered innocence, borders on arrogance. Speaking of no-mind and being all mind, intellectual, speaking of nothing personal and being all about the person, speaking of no me, and talking all about the me, speaking of no-self and being all self, speaking of awakening yet seeking or suffering, speaking of enlightenment yet endarkening. FB projects and exudes a great collective longing for love and to simply come to rest, as stillness, as silence, and though such a great and profound effort as understanding is expressed, there is a longing to simply come to rest as not knowing.

A glimpse or taste will urge momentum. However the process of unfolding is often very challenging and can last for years. Also, the process of post-awakening can be equally challenging to the psychosomatic body and any and all aspects and notions of i which still reside and remain. That being said, consider there is an enormous effort being made to discuss all things spiritual, to even posit one self as clear, attained, knowing, yet remain comfortably, safely, at an imagined distance or edge, protected by the apparent gap that technology and media provides, for fear of and to protect the notion of self from actually falling into the real unfolding, for fear of actually giving up the observer identity, to fully embrace, integrate, and be the willingness one speaks to, thinks of, obsesses over, to welcome the invitation which is always present, that of renunciation of the story, the dream, the false, the notion of a separate me, and to face the willingness as courage to be fully broken open, taste the humble vulnerability, and give up the thinking, posting, conceptual notions, the dream identity of the voyeuristic seeker.

The way of the true sage, of the true guru, is to teach by example, not to teach information, not to charge you to awaken, not to hijack spirituality into being intellectual or a science. If you have a teacher or a guide, are they broken open, do they confess their suffering, and are you willing to be broken open, or is it all a means to protect the self masked as letting it go with a costume of spirituality?

Is there a willingness to stand as Awareness and face all that has been abandoned, which longs to be met unconditionally, which keeps arising, or is there a hidden agenda of self to protect self from the very unfolding which one is also seeking? When the pendulum appears to swing to the Absolute, is one willing to stand as this when the pendulum swings back to the relative? Avoidance itself invites what is seen as suffering. Here one is trapped, exactly where self has set the trap, in an imagined center, between what one seeks, and fears. Yet there is no 'between'. This is the device and strategy of separation, which is division, suffering, and maintains the search and longing. Only the ego is so profoundly skilled and adept at self-deception. The game is to hijack spirituality and hide self. There is no avoidance of the humanity as long as one is embodied. Are you experiencing suffering, or suffering your experience?

Very few will actually be willing to go the way of renunciation, the rest will talk about it. Very few are ripe. Very few will be broken open. It is apparent to both the guide / teacher, and the one seeking, when this willingness, this apparent ripeness is present, and when one is willing to live fully as the Heart, as Self. To some, there is no choice, and for the rest, the invitation is always present.