ANXIETY


The habituated tendency is this apparent movement away from what is, what arises. It stems from a subtle and fundamental disagreement with what is. This is self abandonment, and this is to challenge beingness itself. Aversion becomes the familiar reactive state. It is here the longing, searching, seeking arises, is expressed. Consider the energy and quality of what is labelled or interpreted as anxiety. The reactivity to this state of anxiety is to move away from, escape from. Of course, this is impossible, as there is no 'where' to go, no 'place' to escape to. There is in fact, no 'to'. The invitation is to fall all the way into and as what arises, so that the longing is met, and that which arises can dissolve. This is to not identify with the phenomenal, with states that come and go, which determine and maintain the notion of the story of self. This is to fall into the taste.

Anxiety is a label. 'Underneath' anxiety, or prior to anxiety, is fear. 'Underneath' or prior to fear is protection, underneath protection is compassion, and underneath compassion is love. This love and compassion are not phenomenal, do not come and go. They are ever present and eternal. This natural protectiveness is always present. One is not the doer of this. Notice how the pattern of identification is the apparent movement away from love, from True Nature, by means of the clinging to, and attachment to the label and story of anxiety. This anxiety is isolating, and is the contraction of separation. Understand it is this pattern of abandonment which brings suffering, not the state one is identified with and by. It is the apparent movement 'from' which is suffering. One suffers by means of contraction, separation. It is the contracted and reactive state which gives rise to suffering. To go in the other apparent direction, so to speak, is to release the habit of abandonment.

The self is itself a habit. Know this. The construct, pattern, and notion, is that which is maintained as a means of avoidance of that which one longs for, seeks, and is. The character, the separate self, is that which is the apparent tension as the duality of longing and resistance. If one notices anxiety, one is not anxiety. One is that which notices. One is the Awareness of which all phenomena arises, comes and goes. There is no doer. One is the love, the compassion, which is eternal, and does not come and go. Fall into what arises. Fall into the taste. You are That.

Satsang notes.